Friday, December 14, 2012

ನಾನು


ನಾನು ನಾನು ನಾನು
ಪ್ರತಿಯೊಬ್ಬರಲ್ಲೂ ಇರುವ
ನಾನು ಮಿತ್ರನೇ? ಶತ್ರುವೇ?

ಹುಟ್ಟುವ ಮೊದಲಿಲ್ಲ
ಸತ್ತ ನಂತರವೂ ಇಲ್ಲ
ಈ ಮಧ್ಯೆ ಇರುವ ನಾನು ಯಾರು?

ಗರ್ವದ ಮೂಲ ನಾನು 
ಸಿಟ್ಟಿನ ಬೇರು ನಾನು
ಸಂಬಂಧಗಳ ಬಿರುಕಿಗೆ ಸೂತ್ರ ನಾನು 

ಕೀಳರಿಮೆಯ ಅಂಕುರ ನಾನು
ಲೋಭಕ್ಕೆ ಗೊಬ್ಬರ ನಾನು
ಸ್ವಾರ್ಥಿಯ ಗೆಳೆಯ ನಾನು

ಅಸೂಯೆಯ ಬುನಾದಿ ನಾನು
ಸಾಧನೆಗೂ ಕಾರಣ  ನಾನು
ಸುಖ ಸಂಸಾರಕ್ಕೂ ಬೇಕು ನಾನು

ನಾನು ಬಯಸಿದರೆ ಮಿತ್ರ
ಇಲ್ಲವಾದಲ್ಲಿ ಶತ್ರು 
ನಾನು ನಾವಾದರೆ ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ಹಿತ

ನಾ ಕಂಡ ಗುರು


ಸೆಳೆದ ತೀಕ್ಷ್ಣ ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳು
ನೋಡಿದೊಡನೆ ಕರಗಿದ ಮನಸು
ತ್ಯಾಜ್ಯ ವಿಸರ್ಜನೆಯಾದ
ನವೀನ ಶಕ್ತಿಯು ಪ್ರವಹಿಸಿದ ಅನುಭವ

ಮೊದಲ ನೋಟದಲ್ಲೇ ಕಾಣುವ ಪ್ರೀತಿ
ಇಮ್ಮಡಿಯಗುವ ನಂಬಿಕೆ
ಮೂಕನನ್ನಾಗಿಸುವ ಮಾತುಗಳು
ಮುದ ನೀಡುವ ಹಾವ ಭಾವ

ಹುದುಕಿದೆನು ದೇವರ 
ಸಿಗಲಿಲ್ಲ ಎಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲೂ
ಪ್ರೀತಿಯೇ ದೇವರೆಂದು
ತೋರಿಸಿದ ಗುರುವೇ ನಿನಗೆ ಶರಣು

ಗುರುವೇ ನೀನು ತಾಯಿಯಾದರೆ  
ನಾನು ಮಗು 
ನೀನು ಪ್ರೀತಿಯಾದರೆ
ನಾನು ನಂಬಿಕೆ

ಗುರುವಿನ ಹಂಬಲ


ಬಯಸದೇ ಬರುವ
ಯೋಚನೆಗಳಿಂದ ಬೇಸತ್ತು
ಬಯಸಿಯೂ ಮಾಡಲಾಗದ
ಕಾರ್ಯಗಳಿಂದ ನೊಂದ ಜೀವನ


ಹುಚ್ಚು ಮನಸಿನ ನೀಚ
ವಿಚಾರಗಳ ಬೆನ್ನತ್ತು
ಅಂಧಕಾರದ ಕೂಪದಲ್ಲಿ
ಮುಳುಗಿದ ಜೀವನ

ಗುರುವೇ, ನನಗೆ ಬೇಡ ನಾನು
ಆದರೆ ಬೇಕು ನೀನು
ಬೆಳಕಿನಲ್ಲೂ ಕತ್ತಲೆಯ 
ಕಾಣುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ, ಮುನ್ನಡೆಸು

ನಾ ಕಣ್ಣು, ನೀ ದ್ರಷ್ಟಿಯಾಗು
ನಾ ಬಾಯಿ, ನೀ ಮಾತಾಗು
ನಾ ಕರ್ಣ, ನೀ ಶಬ್ದವಾಗು
ನಾ ಹ್ರದಯ ನೀ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯಾಗು

ಗೆಳೆಯ


ಆಡಲು ಬರುವವ
ತಿಂಡಿಯ ಕೊಡುವವ
ಬಾಲ್ಯದ ಗೆಳೆಯ


ಶಾಲೆಗಾಗಿ ಕಾಯುವವ
ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆಯಲಿ ತೋರಿಸುವವ
ಕಿಶೋರದ ಗೆಳೆಯ

ಪಾಠವ ಕಲಿಸುವವ
ಜೊತೆಯಲಿ ತಿರುಗುವವ
ಹರೆಯದ ಗೆಳೆಯ


ನಗುವನ್ನ ತರಿಸುವವ
ಕಣ್ಣೀರ ಒರೆಸುವವ
ಯೌವ್ವನದ ಗೆಳೆಯ

ಸಮಸ್ಯೆಗಳ ಪರಿಹರಿಸುವವ
ಸುಖದಲ್ಲೂ ನೆನೆಯುವವ
ಜೀವನದ ಗೆಳೆಯ

ಕಳೆದ ದಿನಗಳ ನೆನಪಿಸುವವ
ಸಾವಿನಲ್ಲೂ ಬಳಿಯಿರುವ
ವ್ರದ್ಧಾಪ್ಯದ ಗೆಳೆಯ


Sunday, December 9, 2012

The Broken Promise


Dear Akhil,

"I love you Namrata, I will be there for you always, I will marry you once I come back" these are the   last words I heard from you :). I can still hear them when I remember you. I had never met a person who showed some respect to me, who cared me, who made me laugh. I was all alone from childhood. My parents thought I was a curse to them. I used to feel bad at first, but I used to console myself thinking there will be someone for me.This is my first letter to you. Eventhough you told me hundred times before to write a letter to you I dint.I never felt like writing. But today I want to express the feelings I have.

I am an orphan Akhil!! I lied to you and I always refused to take you to my house. My parents left me when I was 10. They dint want me to be their child, they just left me in a railway station. I still wonder how I grew!!.But I am not worried about it because I have you.

I cant write more my eyes are full of tears of JOY for the first time in my life. I am waiting for you.
Hope you come soon.

Your Namrata
20/05/05


Today is Monday exactly three years after 20/05/05. Its the story about 6 years ago. I was working in a small company as accountant. I was 24. I was with my family and was leading the life of a middle class person.

The girl who always reminds me about PROMISE i.e, Namrata, she was my colleague  I never used to talk with anyone else much.But I don't know there was a charm in her to make everyone feel happy. She used to spread smile everywhere. Day by day I started liking her and started talking with her.

We used to help each other in work, we used to share our food. As the days passed we became close and started sharing our feelings. It was always me who used to talk and I never cared to ask about her!!. But she always used to listen to me like a mother and used to give suggestions to all my questions.She taught me what is life.She taught me to be human.

I was totally in love with her. I said that to her many times and she used to smile for that. She never said anything.I was a dumb who couldn't understand that she also liked me.

That day was 05 August 2004, Manager called me and told that I had got an opportunity to travel to Germany and I cant ignore that. I was happy about that and told Namrata about that. She was also happy and told me to come back soon. I went home and informed the family that I will be leaving on 10th August.

One month later I got a message from my family that they have a looked a girl for me and I should marry her. I was shocked!!. I was not getting what to do!!. I told them saying I cant marry anyone now and I need time. But they were not listening to me. I was helpless and I was not in a position to talk to Namrata about this also!!I acted like a fool and married to the girl my family showed me and dint even inform Namrata regarding this.

After few months later on 21st May 2005 I got a call from my colleague Priya that Namrata passed away. I was completely blank. I dint know where she was staying!!. I went to that Priya's home and took her address and went. Only few people had gathered there.
One person came near me and asked me "Are you Akhil?". I said "yes". He gave me a letter. I asked him "what happened to her?"
He said " She had been to my home last night, she was very happy, she gave us the halwa she prepared and she went!!"
A doctor was there and I asked him "how she died?". He said "She was completely normal, she dint take poison or some pills,it might be a heart attack!"

Then a thought flashed me "When you finish all your work and there is nothing pending, when you live everyday completely, your heart stops!!". It was her words!!
She lived the way she said. She had complete belief in me that I will come back. She was happy that day and she wrote that letter. In happiness she forgot everything and her heart stopped!!.

What a death!! When there is no limit for your life death is not death. Its just acceptance. She again taught me how to live!
I read this letter on this day every year to remind me about THE BROKEN PROMISE. It teaches me how to leave, how to share, how to make everyone happy!!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Blind

People say world is awesome
Sun rises and sets daily
But for me world can't be expressed in words
Sun is only absent, how can he rise or set

For them someone is beautiful and someone is ugly
For me all are same
Its only beautiful
And I don't know many opposite words

People explain everything in colors
I don't know what color is
Its an unexplainable thing to me
Because people change their state, I don't

I always stay here which has no start no end
Nothing is there here, no other can enjoy this state
Because they say I am 'Blind'
I don't know the meaning of it as I don't compare my world with them.

ಅತ್ಯಾಚಾರ

ಮೇಘದ ಹನಿಯಿಂದ ಮೊಗ್ಗೊಂದು ಅರಳಿತ್ತು
ಪರಿಮಳವ ಸೂಸುವ ಮೊದಲು ಬಿರುಗಾಳಿ ಬೀಸಿತ್ತು
ಮೊಗ್ಗಿನ ಮನಸು ಸಂತಸದಿ ನಲಿದಿರಲು
ಬಿರುಗಾಳಿ ಗಿಡವನ್ನುಬುಡಮೇಲು ಮಾಡಿತ್ತು

ಪ್ರೇಮ ಭಿಕ್ಷೆ

ನಾನೊಬ್ಬ ಭಿಕ್ಷುಕನು ನಿನ್ನೆದಯ ಬಾಗಿಲಲಿ
ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಹಸಿವಿಂದ ಬಹುದಿನದಿ ಬಳಲಿಹೆನು
ನಿನ್ನ ಪ್ರೇಮದ ನೋಟವು ಸಾಕೆನಗೆ
ಮುಚ್ಚಿದ ಹ್ರದಯದ ಬಾಗಿಲನು ತೆರೆಯಲು

ಕುರುಡು ಪ್ರೀತಿ ?

ಕಳೆದ ದಿನಗಳು ಹಲವು
ನಲಿದ ಕ್ಷಣಗಳು ಕೆಲವು 
ಮಿಡಿದ ಹ್ರದಯಗಳೀಗ ದೂರ ದೂರ 

ಮೊದಲ ನೋಟದ ಪ್ರೀತಿ 
ಕಳೆದು ಕೊಳ್ಳುವ ಭೀತಿ 
ಒಡೆದು ಹಾಕಿತು ಹಲವು ಮನಸುಗಳ 

ತಿಳಿದು ಮಾಡುವ ತಪ್ಪೋ?
ತಿಳಿಯದೆ ಮಾಡುವ ತಪ್ಪೋ ?
ಕೊರಗಬೇಕೇ ಇದಕೆ ಜೀವನ ಪೂರ ?

ಸೂರ್ಯ ಗ್ರಹಣ

ಅವಳು ಬದಿ ಮನೆಯ ಇಂದಿರಾ
ಮನಮಿಡಿದು ಹೂ ಹಿಡಿದು ಹೋದೆ ಹತ್ತಿರ
ಕೇಳಿದೆ" ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿಯುವೆಯ ಈ ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಓ ಚಂದಿರ?"
ಅವಳೆಂದಳು "ಮಿತ್ರ ಸೂರ್ಯ ಚಂದಿರ ಸೇರಿದರೆ ಆಗುವುದು ಗ್ರಹಣ!!"

It was She


                  She came to class that day. It was not a special day, but I was observing her that day. I didn’t know the reason why I was observing. She looked cute to me that day. Her innocence caught me. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I was trying to concentrate on the lecture but it was not happening.

She used to be with a group of friends and I was not knowing anyone of them. They seemed to be preserved class people to me. She joined the list of people whom I used to watch in class. But she seemed to be different for me.

As days went on I felt like talking with her. But as always It was a dream for me. I used to think of different situations where I can talk with her. I used to prepare dialogues on how to talk. But all went in vein as we know “Situations happen can’t be created”.

To fulfill my wish I think GOD finally created a situation in the form of a Competition. Although I was not talking with many of the localities friends, somehow I got a chance to participate in that. Now I thought at least I can talk now. I don’t know why I felt like talking with her. I don’t know whether it was attraction or love that made me think like that. But there was no particular reason that made me to think like that. It was heart that was responding not the mind.

“Hey Maggi, He is Kishore” said Anant (He was one in their group).
“Kishore, She is Maggi alias Megha” said Ananth with a twinkling smile. She gave a decent smile as did I. There was nothing to talk all were new people, I waited for sometime and left that place saying I have work although there was nothing. I went to hostel and started analyzing about her behavior like how she may be? Will she talk with me? Will I be able to be a friend of her? Etc..So I started waiting for the next chance to talk with her.

As everyone does from next day we started sharing smiles. I used to sit at last bench as she does. Daily when she used come to class I used to give a smile to her. Whenever I used to get bored I used to watch her that used to make me feel pleasant. She was not like the other gals who used to show attitude when boys look at them or talk with them. She was talkative. She used to mingle with everyone. She had a knack to attract people with her talks.

That was Saturday and everyone was in hurry to go home. She was waiting for her friend in class.
 I went to her and asked “What You still doing here?”
She said “I am waiting for Deepa, She is in lab”.
I smiled thinking at last I got some time to spend with her alone.
Then I asked “How are classes going ?  You like the lecturers? Do you understand? ”etc..
She was just staring at me as if why the hell he is asking so many questions!!.
But it was my imagination, She replied nicely to all of them. She said she doesn’t like class and all. She just comes for attendance. The chat went on and Deepa came by the time and she left saying bye with a smile. I was so happy that the whole day I was recollecting that conversation.

Then the day came where we had to book tickets to go to Bangalore for the competition. All were eager to go there and enjoy the time with friends. I too have joined their group by that time although I dint like that grouping. Me and Ramesh were the new people who joined their group. So they were asking about us, where we studied, what’s our native etc.. I was not interested in all these. I was waiting to get her number. By luck everyone started sharing their numbers with us so that there should not be any problem when we go somewhere in Bangalore.


We all went to the station a day before the competition. All girls had brought food as it was a day journey. We all were in the same compartment discussing about the events. I forgot to mention about the main part. I was participating in singing and She was in dancing with her friends.

It was afternoon, we had food and all forced me to sing a song. I still remember the song which I sang, “Hamko Tumse Pyaar Hua Pehli Bar Hua…”. I sang looking at her, but no one dint notice that. She liked it a lot and gave compliment saying “You will surely Win!!” . I was in cloud nine, as if I have won the competition.

Competition started the next day. Most of event were going simultaneously . My singing was at 12 PM and her dance event was scheduled at 12.30PM.
So I was praying god “GOD Please make me see her dance.”
Luck was with me and I was the first participant. I started singing the same song which I sang in train remembering her. As I was looking at the audience and judges, I was shocked to see her waving her hand saying all the best from backside. It gave me more strength and I sang very well.

Then I went to auditorium, the place where the dance event had to happen. She was ready and was standing near the stage waiting for their turn.
I went near her and said “I know you people will do well, there is no need to wish good luck” She smiled. I came to the auditorium. The group was good and she danced gracefully.

All events got over by evening and they announced the result. I got second prize, I was expecting her group to get a prize. She was excited. But unfortunately they dint won any. She felt really sad. All were sad about the decision.

We all had nice dinner and reached the station to leave the city. All were tired and everyone slept as soon as they entered the train.

We reached Belgaum in the morning at 7. Everyone had planned not to come to college, So all went to their home. I and Ramesh also dint go to college that day. We slept till evening in hostel.

At 5 PM, I was just waking up and got a message.
It was She!! I checked twice to see whether I was dreaming. But It was her only.
I curiously opened the message. She had just sent a question “Did we dance well yesterday?”

“She is Sad Dude!! So she is asking like that!!” My mind said.
Now its time to console as all boys do!!. I was not apart from that.
How to start with was a problem so that I should not make her more sad. It was my first try though.
I replied “You people rocked the stage yesterday, all were saying Once More !! Once More!!. I think there should have been some politics because of that you people dint get any prize. It happens everywhere. You won audience’s heart. That is more than enough.”

I thought the reply was too much and what she might think!!
My eyes were on phone waiting for her reply…


I waited for hours, but there was no reply. I was in dilemma whether she dint like my reply or she did. I was expecting a “Thanks” from her. I felt bit sad about her behavior. So I slept with a bad mood.

“Trin Trin !! Trin Trin!!” alarm rang. I thought it was she calling me asking for sorry!!
But there was a message from her saying “Sorry, I couldn’t reply!!”
I just ignored that message without replying anything.
That discussion was almost over and we never discussed about that matter again.

Days passed and we became good friends, I was helping her in studies. I used to teach her almost all subjects. I don’t know whether she was weak in studies or was acting like that to spend time with me. I was feeling happy whenever I was with her. I think she also was feeling the same.

There was nothing like calling and messaging all the time. There was a good understanding between us.

Now fight started. Mind Vs Heart.
Mind used to say “She is nice man, propose her, she will surely accept”.
Heart used to say “My friend its about your life, before taking any decision think twice. Don’t be hurry!!”
I was totally confused. Questions started wandering in the ground of mind. “Does she like me?” “Will she accept me if I propose her?”  “Does she have any feeling for me?”

To give some boost to my courage Valentine’s Day was nearing. I made my mind to write a letter to her. Here is the letter which I gave to her on Valentine’s day. It is bit poetic.

Hello Dear,

My heart was a barren land before you came in my life. It was waiting for rain of love. You came like rain and made my land(heart) fertile. I planted the plant of love with trust. It needs last drops of water to flourish. So I am waiting for those last drops from you in the form of acceptance. It is up to you to make the plant grow healthily or to uproot it.

This is not an exaggeration. Whatever my heart said I have just written.  I am waiting for your reply.

Looking for you
Kushal


It was afternoon and I was near canteen. “Kushal can you come here!!” She called me. I was exited and felt bit shy to go near her. While I was going near to her someone hit me at my back!!.

I suddenly woke up and it was my mom. “Kushal get up, its already late for college!!”
I was still in that dream thinking how nice it would be if that was REAL!!!.

Rose


That was a foggy morning. It was her birthday.
She waited for that day without knowing that it was her last day.
Sun rose and she was drenched in his rays.
She slowly opened her eyes, she was looking beautiful, she was nodding her head with the wind. Everyone felt happy looking at her forgetting everything for a moment and were lost in her. She was happy.
In the later evening it was time for Sun to set and for her too.
She has fulfilled her life by making others happy.
She was given a day and she succeeded, we are given years but we FAIL!!